I just couldn't resist.

But really.

Airborne

"Dance is a song of the body; either of joy or pain."

Youth

A favorite of mine.

I know who goes before me.

The Ocean

There is an ocean.
Its depths are unimaginable, unthinkable, and dark.
Some simply float on its surface: safe, dry, ignorant.
Others plunge beneath, and begin to explore. They are fascinated, and confused, because they do not understand what they have entered into. They gasp in awe of what they see, and their lungs fill with the murk, and they drown.
Some, however, know what lies within.
They know the depths, because the depths are their own.
These are the ones who learn to breathe underwater.
These are the ones who survive.

War All The Time

The hopeless are the ones with the most hope. They just don't always realize it.
Listen to the lullaby...

I'm a writer...just not in Spanish.

Write a poem? I can do that.

Make it rhyme? I can do that too.

Write a poem in Spanish? Okay...I suppose I can try that.

Write a poem in Spanish and make it rhyme? What? What are you asking? I...wha...but...

Yeah, this is what I came up with:

 

El Oso

Hay un loco oso

Y el oso el coloso

Y un poco grandioso

Y tal vez voluptuoso

Por lo que ve muy chistoso

Y no es malicioso

Pero es caballeroso

Que me parace maravilloso

 

 

*facepalm*

TeenPact

(AKA one of the best weeks of my entire life)

They say a picture's worth a thousand words, so here you go:

In the space of 4 days (Monday-Thursday), we...

 Headed off to Montgomery.

Took random pics in the car, because we're cool like that.

 

Discovered the coolest sign in the history of EVER.

 

Met Frank.

 

And befriended him. (Or at least I did.)

 

Went to a Pro-Life rally.

 

Were serenaded by the guys on our last night. (Most adorable thing ever, I swear.)

 

Oh yeah, Chief Justice Roy Moore spoke. Nbd.

 

And, of course, we took last-minute pics before we all departed.

(This is Lily, one of my new buddies.)

 

Also, I was given a much-needed dose of hope from this guy right here, Johnny Leifheit.

 

I met so. many. new. people. They were all amazing, and so was the entire experience. I know that the Lord sent me there for a reason, and I could never thank Him (or my big sister, Giann, who talked me into going) enough. Thank you, sis. God definitely used you to get me where I needed to be, and I don't know what I'd do without you. <3

Soul-Bearing

One of my many faults. Going in circles, round and round, round, round, and round again. Elaboration becomes my downfall. Too much, too little, too confusing. Heck, too confused. Just...lost. The walls are slick. I need a rope. Or a ladder. Or something.

Souls long to be searched.

There were two.
Three, technically, but that doesn't matter.
The first was selfish, and threw my dreams by the wayside, trying to mold them into his own. But you... You searched me. You listened. You knew, and understood.
And, hopefully, you loved.
I believe you still do. Or might, or could, at least.
And I will forever be grateful for that.

Panic! At The Disco

I've been in a major P!ATD mood today. Enjoy.

Twisted.

The world is...twisted. Everything is twisted. We're all pretending. The truth hides behind masks of all kinds, each different, but equally as deceiving. Realities are forged. People like me, people like us, we want more than this. We hope for more, we long for more, we need more.
Tell me, how do I let go?
I want to.
Help me find the new way. Help me fight.

i love you more than you will ever know

Well...it seems I haven't posted in a while.

I'm pretty much in love with this one.



Goodnight!

Check Yes, Juliet

This is my ringtone. Yup. Mucho catchy. Alright, well, happy almost Wednesday! (two-ish hours away...)

The Ballad of Love & Hate

Ahh, this is a good one.



Well, today was a bit rough. I don't really ever feel motivated to do much, especially when it comes to schoolwork, so it's a constant struggle. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Because that's all we can do, right? Hope.

Pleuri-WHAT? And fancy cameras.

So, I've had some chest/actuallymorelikeribcagebutwhatever pain since Friday night. Went to the doctor yesterday because it hurts to breathe (especially deeply...so, at the moment shallow breathing is kinda mah friend). He says I have something called pleurisy ("inflammation of the pleurae, which impairs their lubricating function and causes pain when breathing" -- yay for an iPhone that can define things for me!) Basically, my lungs are scraping against my ribs, and it really isn't pleasant. At all. So yeah, hopefully I'll be back to normal in a few days. Thank God for ibuprofen.

Also, I've been thinking about getting into photography. I mean, I'm pretty well-versed in iPhone-ography, but I want to get my hands on one of those fancy Nikons with a bagillion lenses. Here's to hoping I can make enough money to buy one before Christmas! (And maybe before the trip to Ireland...that would be enormously lovely.)

The Boxer

So in love with this song right now. Mumford & Sons is one of my absolute favorite bands, ever.

To Build A Home

I feel like the solemn, hauntingly lovely tone of this song kind of captures the odd beauty that can be found in loneliness. It's a bit long, but definitely worth taking the time to listen to.

My diverse musical tase (that some might call "odd").

Brace yourselves. I'm gonna be posting songs I like (favorites, new finds, old loves, etc.) on here pretty frequently. Many of them have given me hope, or kept me company in my loneliness. Like a friend, they've been there when I needed them the most. They've calmed my restless soul and helped soothe wounds. They've understood my pain. I hope you'll give them a listen, and maybe fall in love with them (or simply let them grow on you) just like I did.

Truth, Finally

There's a deep darkness constantly lurking in the back of my mind.
There's a heavy weight draped across my shoulders.
Sometimes I feel like my cons outweigh my pros and I'd be of better use in a state of nonexistence.
I'm making this blog my sanctuary.
Slowly, I may begin to share my (real) life with you. You have to understand, though, that's a scary thought for me. The entire world having access to my reality. One that, for the past few years, I've hidden from most. For me, it's easy to pretend. It's easy to hide. Even those closest to me eventually ceased to know me. They simply knew the happy, bubbly, fun girl I presented myself as. Sure, with time, some people began to notice differences. They could sense that something was off. But they couldn't have even begun to imagine what the problem truly was. Depression and anxiety gripped my youth and squeezed the cheerful innocence from it as my mind became wracked with awful thoughts and feelings of hopelessness and a constant gloom hovered in the air around me. Each day was laced with a sort of everlasting mourning and a terrible sorrow that never lifted. And the fact that I was experiencing such sadness on a day-to-day basis simply brought me more agony. In a way, you could liken it to the pain that accompanies the loss of a loved one. Because I have lost someone: myself.