There's a deep darkness constantly lurking in the back of my mind.
There's a heavy weight draped across my shoulders.
Sometimes I feel like my cons outweigh my pros and I'd be of better use in a state of nonexistence.
I'm making this blog my sanctuary.
Slowly, I may begin to share my (real) life with you. You have to understand, though, that's a scary thought for me. The entire world having access to my reality. One that, for the past few years, I've hidden from most. For me, it's easy to pretend. It's easy to hide. Even those closest to me eventually ceased to know me. They simply knew the happy, bubbly, fun girl I presented myself as. Sure, with time, some people began to notice differences. They could sense that something was off. But they couldn't have even begun to imagine what the problem truly was. Depression and anxiety gripped my youth and squeezed the cheerful innocence from it as my mind became wracked with awful thoughts and feelings of hopelessness and a constant gloom hovered in the air around me. Each day was laced with a sort of everlasting mourning and a terrible sorrow that never lifted. And the fact that I was experiencing such sadness on a day-to-day basis simply brought me more agony. In a way, you could liken it to the pain that accompanies the loss of a loved one. Because I have lost someone: myself.
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