Check Yes, Juliet

This is my ringtone. Yup. Mucho catchy. Alright, well, happy almost Wednesday! (two-ish hours away...)

The Ballad of Love & Hate

Ahh, this is a good one.



Well, today was a bit rough. I don't really ever feel motivated to do much, especially when it comes to schoolwork, so it's a constant struggle. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Because that's all we can do, right? Hope.

Pleuri-WHAT? And fancy cameras.

So, I've had some chest/actuallymorelikeribcagebutwhatever pain since Friday night. Went to the doctor yesterday because it hurts to breathe (especially deeply...so, at the moment shallow breathing is kinda mah friend). He says I have something called pleurisy ("inflammation of the pleurae, which impairs their lubricating function and causes pain when breathing" -- yay for an iPhone that can define things for me!) Basically, my lungs are scraping against my ribs, and it really isn't pleasant. At all. So yeah, hopefully I'll be back to normal in a few days. Thank God for ibuprofen.

Also, I've been thinking about getting into photography. I mean, I'm pretty well-versed in iPhone-ography, but I want to get my hands on one of those fancy Nikons with a bagillion lenses. Here's to hoping I can make enough money to buy one before Christmas! (And maybe before the trip to Ireland...that would be enormously lovely.)

The Boxer

So in love with this song right now. Mumford & Sons is one of my absolute favorite bands, ever.

To Build A Home

I feel like the solemn, hauntingly lovely tone of this song kind of captures the odd beauty that can be found in loneliness. It's a bit long, but definitely worth taking the time to listen to.

My diverse musical tase (that some might call "odd").

Brace yourselves. I'm gonna be posting songs I like (favorites, new finds, old loves, etc.) on here pretty frequently. Many of them have given me hope, or kept me company in my loneliness. Like a friend, they've been there when I needed them the most. They've calmed my restless soul and helped soothe wounds. They've understood my pain. I hope you'll give them a listen, and maybe fall in love with them (or simply let them grow on you) just like I did.

Truth, Finally

There's a deep darkness constantly lurking in the back of my mind.
There's a heavy weight draped across my shoulders.
Sometimes I feel like my cons outweigh my pros and I'd be of better use in a state of nonexistence.
I'm making this blog my sanctuary.
Slowly, I may begin to share my (real) life with you. You have to understand, though, that's a scary thought for me. The entire world having access to my reality. One that, for the past few years, I've hidden from most. For me, it's easy to pretend. It's easy to hide. Even those closest to me eventually ceased to know me. They simply knew the happy, bubbly, fun girl I presented myself as. Sure, with time, some people began to notice differences. They could sense that something was off. But they couldn't have even begun to imagine what the problem truly was. Depression and anxiety gripped my youth and squeezed the cheerful innocence from it as my mind became wracked with awful thoughts and feelings of hopelessness and a constant gloom hovered in the air around me. Each day was laced with a sort of everlasting mourning and a terrible sorrow that never lifted. And the fact that I was experiencing such sadness on a day-to-day basis simply brought me more agony. In a way, you could liken it to the pain that accompanies the loss of a loved one. Because I have lost someone: myself.